Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How does one acquire holy water?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
