i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
