thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
