i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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