Dual....:-)
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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