I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
actually, I'm a sock model
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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