Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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