His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
