just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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