LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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