It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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