my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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