I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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