We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
