I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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