I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
