i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
