yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
