my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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