I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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