I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
