D3 body, D1 cock
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
