Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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