WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
