New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
