Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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