dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
