The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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