Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize