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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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