It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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