Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize