He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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