Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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