Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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