I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize