Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
