Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize