RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
