I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
