Jerry, you need to find god
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
