i can't believe i had my finger in that
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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