The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
