Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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