Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
