If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
