Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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