You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize