Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
