Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
