I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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