so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
