I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
