also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
