Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
