i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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