Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
