:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
